We recently celebrated my mother’s 62nd birthday where we got to honour a lady that understands the true meaning of servant leadership. She is not a fan of celebrating her birthday in a big way, so we had to surprise her on the day. The moment the blindfold was removed, and she saw the faces of her family, is a moment that will be etched in my mind forever. She was shocked and lost for words…something that doesn’t happen very often.
I was inspired to write this article to honour the unsung heroes and mentors in our lives. Those people that give us their shoulders to stand on so we can become the people we were meant to be. My mother has been this constant for me and has taught me many principals of servant leadership which I use in my daily life. She has and continues to be my greatest mentor and helps to steer me to my true north.
The shift we make from climbing the ladder to helping others build their own ladder is one of the most rewarding a leader can make, but it’s impossible without first making the climb.
I recently came across an interview with Tyler Perry who just opened up his own studio lot on a former military base for people who didn’t have access to a space they could create in. In this interview he spoke very openly about his life journey and how he got from a place of sleeping in his car to a place where he can provide jobs for hundreds of people. He too spoke about the investment his mother made in his life from an early age despite the abuse they went through and despite the circumstances he was born into. He thanked the many people that taught him and mentored him along the way to enable him to get to this place in his life where he can give more than he has received. He urged people to help others along the way so that they can do more than he ever did.
John Maxwell, one of my other great mentors, in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of growth speaks about the Law of Contribution. In this chapter he describes how his parents modelled this idea of mentorship. They sowed seeds into people without expecting anything in return.
To add value to others, one must first value others.
All 3 stories have something in common – parents who understood the value of serving others and making sure that this lesson was taught and modelled daily. It is not a coincidence that the people in all 3 stories have sought mentorship and they themselves have become mentors for others. If you were not so blessed to have a parent that modelled mentorship for you then I would like to share 6 thoughts on the value of mentorship that I learnt from one of my mentors, John Maxwell that I believe everyone should know:
1. A worthy example – we become like the people we model. Look to a person who is an example with strong values. Your values will be influenced by theirs.
2. A good mentor is available – Be mentored by people who are available. They must already understand the value they can add to your journey. Don’t shoot too high too soon. Start without someone 2-3 levels ahead of you so that the learnings they are passing on to you is still fresh.
3. Have proven experience – The point of having mentors is to benefit from other people’s experiences. ‘To know the road ahead, ask those coming back’ is the famous Chinese proverb that gives us a picture of what mentorship looks like. Seek out mentors that have experience in a certain area. Learn from their mistakes and successes.
All leaders are influenced by those they admire. Reading about them and studying their traits inevitably allows an inspiring leader to develop his own leadership traits. - Rudy Giuliani
4. A good mentor possesses wisdom – wise people use few words to help us and open our eyes. They help us see opportunities we might otherwise miss.
5. A good mentor provides friendship and support – People want to know, ‘do you care for me?’ Mentors are unselfishly working to advance you without expecting anything in return. Knowledge without support is sterile. Advice without friendship is cold. Candor without care is harsh. However, when you are being helped by someone who cares for you it is emotionally satisfying.
6. A coach who makes a difference in people’s lives – A mentor can also be a coach who wants to make a difference by sowing seeds into the lives of people. Kevin Hall’s book, Aspire, describes where the term coach originated from. ‘The word was developed from the horse drawn coaches that was developed in the town of Kocs in the 15th century. The vehicles were used to transport royalty, valuables and common passengers. Kevin remarks that, a coach remains something, or someone, who carries a valued person from where they are to where they want to be. So, if you had a coach, you knew you would end up at your desired destination.’
I would like to encourage you to kick off this process with 2 actions that will help you get started on your journey:
Find a next-step mentor – Think about where you are currently in your career and the direction you would like to go. Look for someone you admire who is 2-3 steps ahead of you on that same track. If the criteria listed above are present in this individual, ask him or her to mentor you.
Make 2 lists – We all need people who can help us sharpen our strengths, but it is not possible to find the answers with just 1 individual. You need several people to help you so it is helpful to start with making 2 lists that will help steer you to those mentors.
a. one that lists your specific strengths or skills you want to improve to reach your potential
b. the second list with specific problem areas where you feel the need for ongoing guidance.
